Tag Archives: Stupid

Tuesday, January 6th

Posted on January 6, 2015 by Eye-rolling Puns

I was kind of happy that Liverpool won last night, now we know somebody English can win at Wimbledon. As a social experiment I had my son wear a Manchester United shirt. So far he’s been kicked,punched,spat on and verbally … Continue reading →

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Friday, January 2nd (Part 1)

Posted on January 2, 2015 by Eye-rolling Puns

What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? Santa stops after three hos. How much coke has Charlie Sheen snorted? Enough to kill two and a half men. What kind of sushi does Lady Gaga eat? Raw, raw, … Continue reading →

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Monday, December 29th (Part 2)

Posted on December 29, 2014 by Eye-rolling Puns

I’ve just bought some ghost-shaped laxative tablets. They scare the shit out of me. Once a year my village holds a market for the locals to sell their wares. I baked a couple of cakes to flog – one was … Continue reading →

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Friday, December 19th (Part 2)

Posted on December 19, 2014 by Eye-rolling Puns

The woman whose voice provided the speaking clock has passed away. Apparently it was her third stroke. Why are photographers always so depressed? Because they always focus on the negatives. I never jump on bandwagons. I climb the steps carefully … Continue reading →

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Friday, December 19th (Part 1)

Posted on December 19, 2014 by Eye-rolling Puns

Why did the potato go to the pub? To get mashed I’ve just bought a hive, but it’s not producing any honey. It’s like the occupants don’t have a clue what to do. Bloody new bees. I’m heading to Greenwich later … Continue reading →

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Thursday, December 18th (Part 2)

Posted on December 18, 2014 by Eye-rolling Puns

So I told my mum that I’d opened a theatre. She said, “Are you having me on?” I said, “Well I’ll give you an audition, but I’m not promising you anything.” I played in a football match that ended in … Continue reading →

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Tuesday, December 16th (Part 1)

Posted on December 16, 2014 by Eye-rolling Puns

Potatoes are pretty good in the sack Meeting:   A place where minutes are taken but hours are fucking wasted. It’s only when you look at an ant through a magnifying glass on a sunny day that you realise how often … Continue reading →

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Monday, December 15th (part 2)

Posted on December 15, 2014 by Eye-rolling Puns

Did you hear Craig David is quitting singing to join the British archery team? He’s gonna be their bow selector My plan to get my dog to eat my semen is coming on a treat I got an email the … Continue reading →

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Friday, December 12th (Part 1)

Posted on December 12, 2014 by Eye-rolling Puns

What do you call a baby monkey? A chimp off the old block I used to be a tailor, but found the work to be just so-so. What is copper nitrate? Overtime for policemen. What does a spy do when … Continue reading →

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Thursday, December 11th (part 1)

Posted on December 11, 2014 by Eye-rolling Puns

Apparently most people lean slightly forward when they nod their head. I must say I’m inclined to agree. I’m making a show about two detectives who solve crimes over the phone. Star Key and Hash Coke dealers. Always sticking their … Continue reading →

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