Tag Archives: Giggles

Monday, 5th January

The thing about vampires is they always have such biting humour. The grammarian was never late. He was always very punctual. You don’t know anything at all about ancient Egypt? Tut, tut, tut. It’s a lengthy article on Japanese Sword … Continue reading

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Friday, January 2nd (Part 1)

What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? Santa stops after three hos. How much coke has Charlie Sheen snorted? Enough to kill two and a half men. What kind of sushi does Lady Gaga eat? Raw, raw, … Continue reading

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Monday, December 29th (Part 2)

I’ve just bought some ghost-shaped laxative tablets. They scare the shit out of me. Once a year my village holds a market for the locals to sell their wares. I baked a couple of cakes to flog – one was … Continue reading

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Monday, December 29th (Part 1)

I just read that the film POMPEII is being made. I haven’t seen the first Pompe yet. Took a fat girl out for dinner two weeks ago. She’s still there. I’ve just finished painting my bedroom in under ten minutes … Continue reading

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Tuesday, December 23rd (Part 2)

What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa? A rebel without a Claus. What do you call an elf who sings? A wrapper! Why is Christmas just like your job? You do all the work and the … Continue reading

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Friday, December 19th (Part 2)

The woman whose voice provided the speaking clock has passed away. Apparently it was her third stroke. Why are photographers always so depressed? Because they always focus on the negatives. I never jump on bandwagons. I climb the steps carefully … Continue reading

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Friday, December 19th (Part 1)

Why did the potato go to the pub? To get mashed I’ve just bought a hive, but it’s not producing any honey. It’s like the occupants don’t have a clue what to do.¬†Bloody new bees. I’m heading to Greenwich later … Continue reading

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Thursday, December 18th (Part 2)

So I told my mum that I’d opened a theatre. She said, “Are you having me on?” I said, “Well I’ll give you an audition, but I’m not promising you anything.” I played in a football match that ended in … Continue reading

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Thursday, December 18th (Part 1)

Just checked out bigbustycoons.com. Damn those guys have really good bus companies!! Last night my girlfriend was in the bath and 2 lesbians broke in and got naked and started wrestling her! I tried to help but I could only … Continue reading

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Monday, December 15th (part 1)

I start my new job serving food at a restaurant tomorrow, I can’t wait! Somebody keeps adding soil to my allotment at night and I have no idea why! The plot thickens My wife has left me. All because of … Continue reading

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