Tuesday, December 16th (Part 1)

Potatoes are pretty good in the sack

Meeting:   A place where minutes are taken but hours are fucking wasted.

It’s only when you look at an ant through a magnifying glass on a sunny day that you realise how often they burst into flames.

The government bill to ban alcohol was met by a chorus of booze.

I went on a date with a black bird last night.
We went to a crow bar.

When I was little I had imaginary friends and I used to play with them all the time.
They were real people, i just imagined they were my friends.

I was born when I was very young

I went to the doctors and he said I was in the early stages of heart disease.
I took it with a pinch of salt.

Santa has seen your Facebook Status

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