Friday, January 2nd (Part 1)

What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus?
Santa stops after three hos.

How much coke has Charlie Sheen snorted? Enough to kill two and a half men.

What kind of sushi does Lady Gaga eat? Raw, raw, raw, raw, rawwww!

Elton John used to work at the sperm bank, but he was fired for drinking on the job.

Yo mamma is so old she knew Burger King when he was a prince.

Why did Miley and Liam break up?
It just wasn’t twerking.

What do you call 5 gay guys walking straight?
One Direction.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Joanna who?
Joanna build a snowman?

What show do cows love to watch while they’re eating?
Graze Anatomy.

animal puns

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