Friday, December 19th (Part 1)

Why did the potato go to the pub? To get mashed

I’ve just bought a hive, but it’s not producing any honey. It’s like the occupants don’t have a clue what to do. Bloody new bees.

I’m heading to Greenwich later today. Wondering what I should do in the Mean Time.

What do you call it when a fraud falls from the top of a building?
Condescending.

I was recently asked if as a young boy, was my mother very strict with me.
I said, ‘let me get one thing straight, my mother was never a young boy.’

It has been annoying me for ages because I forgot the name of the actor that played Forrest Gump, then someone told me today.
T.Hanks.

A 5.2 magnitude earthquake has hit the town of Lorca in southern Spain.
Several buildings have been reduced to a paella rubble.

Winzip files are becoming rar these days.

I’ve just met this lass who shares my fetish for flowers.
We’ve come to an arrangement…

Pun intended

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