Monthly Archives: November 2014

Thursday, November 27th (part 2)

Posted on November 27, 2014 by Eye-rolling Puns

Q: What is Mozart doing right now? A: Decomposing. A teacher asked, “Johnny, can you tell me the name of three great kings who have brought happiness and peace into people’s lives?” Little Johnny responded, “Drin-king, smo-king, and f*c-king.” I … Continue reading →

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Thursday, November 17th (part 1)

Posted on November 27, 2014 by Eye-rolling Puns

What happens to a frog’s car when it breaks down? It gets toad away. Q: What is the difference between snowmen and snowwomen? A: Snowballs. Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth? A: A gummy bear. I … Continue reading →

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Wednesday, November 26th (part 2)

Posted on November 26, 2014 by Eye-rolling Puns

I had a friend that collected police cars, ambulances and fire trucks. It was an estate of emergency when he died. If there was someone selling drugs in this place, weed know. Learning to dance is a two-step process. I … Continue reading →

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Wednesday, November 26th (part 1)

Posted on November 26, 2014 by Eye-rolling Puns

How many psychoanalysts does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one. But it takes a long time, costs a lot of money and the lightbulb has to want to change. How many paranoids does it take to change a … Continue reading →

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Tuesday, November 25th (part 2)

Posted on November 25, 2014 by Eye-rolling Puns

What is the difference between Bing Crosby and Walt Disney? Bing Crosby sings but Walt Disney Did you hear about the circus fire? It was intense. What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? El-if-i-no What … Continue reading →

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Tuesday, November 25th (part 1)

Posted on November 25, 2014 by Eye-rolling Puns

‘My Dad used to say ‘always fight fire with fire’, which is probably why he got thrown out of the fire brigade.’ ‘I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.’ What do you call a monkey in a … Continue reading →

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Monday, November 24th (part 2)

Posted on November 24, 2014 by Eye-rolling Puns

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months. When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U. C. L. A. If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory. Local Area Network in Australia: the … Continue reading →

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Monday, November 24th (part 1)

Posted on November 24, 2014 by Eye-rolling Puns

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool. Why is 10 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus. Practice safe eating—always use condiments. Does the … Continue reading →

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Friday, November 21st (part 2)

Posted on November 21, 2014 by Eye-rolling Puns

I know a guy who is addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop anytime. No one knew she had a dental implant until it slipped out in a conversation. I asked the carpenter if I needed gutters installed. … Continue reading →

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Friday, November 21st (Part 1)

Posted on November 21, 2014 by Eye-rolling Puns

My dad was a pistol, that makes me a son of a gun… These two strings walk up to a bar. The first string walks in and orders and the bartender throws him out and yells “I don’t serve strings … Continue reading →

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