Tag Archives: Comedy

Monday, 5th January

Posted on January 5, 2015 by Eye-rolling Puns

The thing about vampires is they always have such biting humour. The grammarian was never late. He was always very punctual. You don’t know anything at all about ancient Egypt? Tut, tut, tut. It’s a lengthy article on Japanese Sword … Continue reading →

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Friday, January 2nd (Part 2)

Posted on January 2, 2015 by Eye-rolling Puns

Want to hear a Potassium joke? K. What did the blanket say when it fell of the bed? “Oh sheet!” My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so … Continue reading →

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Tuesday, December 30th

Posted on December 30, 2014 by Eye-rolling Puns

Why do ship captains understand their sons so well? They’re able to fathom the depth of their buoys! I heard the new auto body shop that opened comes highly wreck-a-mended. I went to go see the movie ‘Shrek’ last weekend, … Continue reading →

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Monday, December 29th (Part 1)

Posted on December 29, 2014 by Eye-rolling Puns

I just read that the film POMPEII is being made. I haven’t seen the first Pompe yet. Took a fat girl out for dinner two weeks ago. She’s still there. I’ve just finished painting my bedroom in under ten minutes … Continue reading →

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Tuesday, December 23rd (Part 1)

Posted on December 23, 2014 by Eye-rolling Puns

My friend is really interested in magnets. Personally, I can’t see the attraction. Know what’s odd? About every other number. I bought a cheap Jack-in-a-box and it failed miserably. It doesn’t surprise me. I’m having the most amazing sex with … Continue reading →

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Friday, December 19th (Part 1)

Posted on December 19, 2014 by Eye-rolling Puns

Why did the potato go to the pub? To get mashed I’ve just bought a hive, but it’s not producing any honey. It’s like the occupants don’t have a clue what to do. Bloody new bees. I’m heading to Greenwich later … Continue reading →

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Tuesday, December 16th (Part 2)

Posted on December 16, 2014 by Eye-rolling Puns

My mate was trying to convince me that there are these islands way out in the Atlantic which are technically part of Britain. “No way,” I said, “that’s just Scilly.” I haven’t slept for ten days, because that would be … Continue reading →

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Tuesday, December 16th (Part 1)

Posted on December 16, 2014 by Eye-rolling Puns

Potatoes are pretty good in the sack Meeting:   A place where minutes are taken but hours are fucking wasted. It’s only when you look at an ant through a magnifying glass on a sunny day that you realise how often … Continue reading →

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Monday, December 15th (part 2)

Posted on December 15, 2014 by Eye-rolling Puns

Did you hear Craig David is quitting singing to join the British archery team? He’s gonna be their bow selector My plan to get my dog to eat my semen is coming on a treat I got an email the … Continue reading →

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Monday, December 15th (part 1)

Posted on December 15, 2014 by Eye-rolling Puns

I start my new job serving food at a restaurant tomorrow, I can’t wait! Somebody keeps adding soil to my allotment at night and I have no idea why! The plot thickens My wife has left me. All because of … Continue reading →

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