Monday, December 29th (Part 1)

I just read that the film POMPEII is being made. I haven’t seen the first Pompe yet.

Took a fat girl out for dinner two weeks ago.
She’s still there.

I’ve just finished painting my bedroom in under ten minutes using vinyl.
Surely that’s some kind of record.

A fisherman was trying to learn the alphabet.
He got lost at C.

I have come to the realisation that I am in fact, a man trapped inside a womans body….
I probably shouldn’t have put the lube next to the glue…

Call me bigoted if you like, but I’d rather have a Swedish blow up doll than an Islamic one.

Can't contain myself

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