Thursday, December 18th (Part 1)

Just checked out Damn those guys have really good bus companies!!

Last night my girlfriend was in the bath and 2 lesbians broke in and got naked and started wrestling her! I tried to help but I could only knock one out.

I took my dog to a car showroom today.
I turned to him and said, “They have an interesting Range Rover.”

My 5yr old son was expelled from school for race crime……he used blu tac on his egg and spoon.

I’m a great bird handler, my technique is impeccable.

A minor background part actor walks into a massage parlour and asks if they are willing to provide sexual services.
The lady replies “Sorry love, we don’t do extras.”

A rule of grammar: double negatives are a no-no.

Someone asked me how many haircuts I’d had in my life.
I said, “off the top of my head, about 250.”

Support your local search and rescue squad. Get lost

You have a lot of balls

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