Tuesday, December 16th (Part 2)

My mate was trying to convince me that there are these islands way out in the Atlantic which are technically part of Britain.
“No way,” I said, “that’s just Scilly.”

I haven’t slept for ten days, because that would be too long.

I work at the Royal Mint and, to be honest, I make a lot of money.

I hate my internet provider.
It may be Virgin, but it keeps going down on me.

My doctor told me to quit my helium addiction before I got carried away.

Whenever I’m down in the dumps, I get myself a new hat.
They smell a bit but at least they’re free.

Why did the Mafia boss cross the road?
Revenge! The road had crossed him the week before.

I invented the upside down house.
It’s now a top cellar.

Commas, they save lives

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