My dad was a pistol, that makes me a son of a gun…
These two strings walk up to a bar. The first string walks in and orders and the bartender throws him out and yells “I don’t serve strings in this bar. The other string ruffs himself up on the street and curls up and orders. The bartender shouts, “Hey, didn’t you hear what I told your buddy?”
The string says “Yeah.”
The bartender says, “aren’t you a string?”
The string says, “No, I’m a frayed knot…”
Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
He didn’t have the guts.
A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to eat. He came across two men. One was sitting under a tree and reading a book; the other was typing away on his typewriter. The lion quickly pounced on the man reading the book and devoured him. Even the king of the jungle knows that readers digest and writers cramp.
What do you call a Forsaken with a love for corny jokes?
Did you hear about the agnostic dyslexic insomniac?
He stayed awake all night wondering if there really was a dog.
Yikes! My fingernails are getting so long, they’re growing out of hand!
Most jokes that pilots tell go way over my head.
There’s a professional boxer at my office. He works in shipping.