How many psychoanalysts does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one. But it takes a long time, costs a lot of money and the lightbulb has to want to change.
How many paranoids does it take to change a lightbulb?
Why are you picking on me. I know this is about me. How the hell did you know I needed to change a lightbulb?
What do call a French Man wearing Sandals?
Did you hear about the Crab who went to the disco?
He pulled a muscle.
What religion do you call an equal rights insect?
A PROTEST ANT
My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli.
He was pulled in by a strong currant.
An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman walk into a bar.
The barman says: Is this some kind of joke?
Did you hear about the guy who had a case of reverse paranoia?
He kept thinking he was following everyone else.