Tuesday, December 9th (Part 2)

I saw this really fit girl in the nightclub last night and she was wearing a chessboard patterned shirt…..
So, I made a move on her.

I work as a waiter.
The pay isn’t great but I put food on the table.

I recently bought 51% of a vampire hunting company.
I’m now the main stake holder.

My girlfriend wanted perfume and jewelry for her birthday but I got her a chocolate egg & a toy instead.
She was kinder surprised.

My mate said the drink I bought him tasted funny.
It was a cheap shot.

I used to be a huge fan of Robocop and now I’ve just been fitted with a robotic leg.
Oh the iron knee.

When I got depressed, I joined the Army.
I didn’t have any experience or motivation, I just wanted a soldier to cry on.

North Korea has a space programme.
But it isn’t as good as Star Trek

I herd ewe like puns

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