I saw this really fit girl in the nightclub last night and she was wearing a chessboard patterned shirt…..
So, I made a move on her.
I work as a waiter.
The pay isn’t great but I put food on the table.
I recently bought 51% of a vampire hunting company.
I’m now the main stake holder.
My girlfriend wanted perfume and jewelry for her birthday but I got her a chocolate egg & a toy instead.
She was kinder surprised.
My mate said the drink I bought him tasted funny.
It was a cheap shot.
I used to be a huge fan of Robocop and now I’ve just been fitted with a robotic leg.
Oh the iron knee.
When I got depressed, I joined the Army.
I didn’t have any experience or motivation, I just wanted a soldier to cry on.
North Korea has a space programme.
But it isn’t as good as Star Trek