Tuesday, December 9th (Part 1)

My boss accused me of not forwarding an email her way.
I resent that.

My wife was stressed out earlier, so I decapitated her.
Hope that took the weight off her shoulders

“Storm spares Philippines capital”
I thought the X-Men were fictional.

RomeoAndJuliet.docx is a play on word.

Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.

NatWest have installed the first ever cash machine in a tree in Epping Forest.
If it proves successful, they might open them in other branches.

People who have Bluetooth handsets need a clip round the ear.

So, I was working in a library and this bloke comes up to me and says, “Do you have a bookmark?”
I said, “Yes, we have hundreds…but my name’s Dave”

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