Monday, December 8th (part 1)

The other day someone left a piece of plasticine in my house.
I didn’t know what to make of it.

The other day I was trying to make a noise with two of my fingers and my thumb, and no matter how much I practiced nothing seemed to work…
Then it clicked

My girlfriend told me all I could think about was sex…
Fanny she should say that!

Do gun manuals have a “trouble shooting?” section?

One tectonic plate bumped into another and said…..
“Sorry, my fault.”

The Beach Boys walk into a bar
“Get a round”
“I get a round?”
“Get a round….”

My new girlfriend lets me lick anything off her and I love it.
Butter, jam, cheese, you name it she lets me lick it off her.
She’s a cracker.

perfect cents

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