Friday, December 5th

How do you count cows?
With a cowculator.

Waiter: “Do you want any dessert?”
Teddy Bear: “No Thanks. I’m Stuffed!”

Why couldn’t Dracula’s wife get to sleep?
Because of his coffin.

Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.

Why is gambling illegal in Africa? Because there are too many cheetahs!

A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders. As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, “I’ll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, ‘I don’t know how you can make love to me with your type of body.’ So I asked her, ‘How about a little head?'”

With great power, comes great electricity bills

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