19 Irishmen go to a cinema. Ticket lady says, “Why are there so many of you here tonight?” Mick replies, “The film says 18 and over, miss.”
If the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then lefties are the only ones in their right mind.
What’s the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws and a complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
What did the janitor yell when he jumped out of the closet?
Brunette: “Where were you born?”
Brunette: “Which part?”
Blonde: “All of me.”
What did the pony say when he had a sore throat? Sorry, I’m a little horse.
Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet? He was looking for Pooh!