What Disney movie is about a stupid boyfriend? Dumb Beau
They arrested the owner of a threatening bull – he was brought up on charges
A pessimist’s blood type is b-negative.
I used to be a shoe salesman, till they gave me the boot.
What’s a three-season bed? One without a spring.
Energizer Bunny arrested – charged with battery.
When does a boat show affection? When it hugs the shore.
It’s a clumsy reflection of yourself when you break a mirror.
To spot a glacier you have to have good ice sight.
If you pay 25 cents to watch a bad football game don’t expect your quarterback.
Even covered in salad dressing my lettuce looked bare, so I put some cloves on it.
She’s happy to make a pair of pants for you, or at least sew its seams.
A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, “I’m sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.”
Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, “Is the bar tender here?”
“I got my spine removed. It was holding me back”
I had a dream that i was walking around in a shirt with stalks of corn all over it and somebody was like “wtf are u wearing?” and I said “It’s a crop top”