Tuesday, November 11th

What Disney movie is about a stupid boyfriend? Dumb Beau

They arrested the owner of a threatening bull – he was brought up on charges

A pessimist’s blood type is b-negative.

I used to be a shoe salesman, till they gave me the boot.

What’s a three-season bed? One without a spring.

Energizer Bunny arrested – charged with battery.

When does a boat show affection? When it hugs the shore.

It’s a clumsy reflection of yourself when you break a mirror.

To spot a glacier you have to have good ice sight.

If you pay 25 cents to watch a bad football game don’t expect your quarterback.

Even covered in salad dressing my lettuce looked bare, so I put some cloves on it.

She’s happy to make a pair of pants for you, or at least sew its seams.

A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, “I’m sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.”

Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, “Is the bar tender here?”

“I got my spine removed. It was holding me back”

I had a dream that i was walking around in a shirt with stalks of corn all over it and somebody was like “wtf are u wearing?” and I said “It’s a crop top”

Head Hertz

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