Thursday, November 6th

Somewhere, right now, there is a night club where critics are raving.

I was taking naughty pictures of my ficus plant when my religious friend said “What a photo sin this is!”

I can’t leave, I have roots here.

Your ability to make such great horticulture puns makes me green with ivy.

When golfers jack off do they still try for the fewest strokes?

Listening to the news on the radio this morning, oil prices have tanked again.

It’s erection day in China Town.

If a city was made for fat people would it be called obecity?

Sherlock Holmes comes home with a box of lemons…  Watson asks where he got them. Holmes replies, “A lemon tree, my dear Watson.”

My job blows. Literally.  I’m an indoor skydiving instructor.

I’m going to design decorative sleeves that go over women’s handbags and call them ‘Hot Purse Suits’

What would reddit be named if it was just dedicated to puns? Geddit?

Why was Lassie sad to get a cantaloupe? It made her melon-collie

If the clever guy in Star Trek had his intelligence represented by a glowing aroma, then he’d be a bright Spock

Work for food

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