Friday, October 31st

The best thing to carry with you when you start feeling tired is a knapsack.

Why was the broom having a bad day? He didn’t get enough sweep.

I used to have a pet leech. It was attached to me.

What is the name of the immortal adolescent? Constantine!

The divers had to be careful, the octopus was heavily armed.

The misdirected astronaut wasn’t exactly over the moon.

Does working for UPS make you a professional boxer?

I’m really starting to hate these stupid little Russian Dolls. They’re so full of themselves.

Who will take the second shot in this snooker game?  Find out after the break.

Whiteboards are remarkable.

What do you call someone who points out the obvious? Someone who points out the obvious.

I’d be gutted if I was a victim of Jack the Ripper

My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers. To be honest, I should have seen the signs.

Just been offered a 42″ Plasma TV for £100. Only problem is the volume control is broken, I thought fuck it, at that price you can’t turn it down.

Who needs rhetorical questions?

My local museum is trying to raise money by setting up a dinosaur fossil display. How will it work? Remains to be seen

hallowe'en puns

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