What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long? Polaroids.
What do prisoners use to call each other? Cell phones.
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick.
What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho Cheese.
What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? A nervous wreck.
What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? The taste. Where do you get virgin wool from? Ugly sheep.
Why are there so many Smiths in the phone book? They all have phones. Did you hear about the new e-reader? Reader’s Digest and Amazon created software that will condense books when you download them. It's called the Dwindle. They told me I had type A blood , but it was a Type- O. Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory . I hope there's no pop quiz. Did you hear about the optometrist who fell into a lens grinder and made a spectacle of himself?