Two cannibals are eating a clown.
One says to the other: ‘Does this taste funny to you?’A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: ‘A beer please, and one for the road.’
The invisible man marries the invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
I went to a seafood disco last week and pulled a mussel.
The midget fortune-teller, who escaped from prison, was a small medium at large.
Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says ‘Dam!
Did you hear about the woman who stood outside with her purse open? She was expecting some change in the weather.
What do you call a train that sneezes? Achoo-choo train
Why did the bee go to the doctor? Because he had hives
My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn’t concentrate.
At the supermarket I saw a man and a woman wrapped in a barcode. I asked, “Are you two an item?”
The truth may ring out like a bell, but it is seldom ever tolled.
I fired my masseuse today. She just rubbed me the wrong way
What’s the difference between a well dressed man on a a bicycle and a poorly dressed man on a tricycle? Attire!