“Waiter! This coffee tastes like mud.” “Yes sir, it’s fresh ground.”
What happened to the lawyer who was thrown out of a saloon? He was disbarred.
Did you hear about the butcher who backed into his meat grinder & got a little behind in his work?
A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, “No change yet.”
I used to sell computer parts, but then I lost my drive.
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.
What is a zebra? 26 sizes larger than “A” bra
Old policemen never die, they just cop out.
I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
What would you get if you crossed a parrot with a centipede? A walkie-talkie.
I used to be a Velcro salesman, but couldn’t stick with it.
Where do you find giant snails? On the ends of giant’s fingers.
How do you tickle a rich girl? Say “Gucci Gucci Gucci!”
Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.