Monday, October 20th

I married your mother because I wanted children, imagine my disappointment when you came along.

An elevator makes ghosts happy because it lifts the spirits.

The person who invented the door knocker won the No-bell prize.

I couldn’t work out how to fasten my seatbelt. Then it clicked.

Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels.

When I get naked in the bathroom, the shower usually gets turned on.

People who say that they suffer from constipation are full of shit.

Vagina jokes aren’t funny. Period.

Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a drink can? He was lucky it was a soft drink.

When William joined the army, he disliked the phrase ‘fire at will’.


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